Depression
by Lily272
Summary: Warning: Includes a failed suicide that is described in detail. Joey has lost his father and now his sister. The pain gets too much to bear and he tries to end his life. after being saved it's no one else then Seto Kaiba who says the right things that gives him a reason to keep on living and soon Joey finds out that it isn't the first time that Kaiba is helping him.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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**Depression**

Joey walked along the street of Domino and didn't even know himself where he was headed. Today had been the worst day in a row of bad days. Just two weeks ago his father had been mugged and died. The fact that Joey still blamed himself for it didn't really make it easy for Joey to deal with it. Not that he had forced anyone to harm his father, but if he hadn't been so keen on making something out of himself they would never have the money to get rubbed for. The muggers had been from their old block, the place they used to live at before they had moved to a nicer area after Joey had managed to find a good job after not only graduating high school but also miraculously getting a full ride for college and managing to finish that too.

Joey gave a sigh. Everyone always told him that it was understandable that he wanted to make something out of himself, that he wanted his parents and sister to be proud of him and that it wasn't his fault at all but it didn't help. Not that his mother even was proud of him, she still hardly talked to him and only for Serenity's sake would look at her oldest son. And Joey had to say oldest son because she had married again and had another boy with the new husband. Just that Joey never got to see his half-brother since his mother refused to let him anywhere near her precious little boy.

But today was worse. Joey had gotten a call from his mother for the first time since she had moved out. She had told Joey to never bother and call that number again since Serenity wouldn't be there any more, she died in a car accident three days ago and the funeral had just been. Joey's mother didn't want him there, that's why she hadn't told him about it earlier.

All Joey could think of now was that he had finally lost everything. After fighting so hard to have a better life and make something out of himself he had lost the most important things to him, his family. What else could possibly matter now? Joey still walked through the streets unknowing where he was headed when he suddenly stood in front of the Kame Game shop. He looked inside from the dark and saw Yugi standing there in the light talking and laughing with his grandfather.

Joey wasn't sure why but he walked in and said, "Hey guys. How are things?"

"Great." Yugi said cheerfully. "How about you? I know it's still tough with your father dead but didn't want Serenity to come and stay with you for a while soon? So when is she coming?"

"Yeah, that was the plan." Joey mumbled just remembering that he had been here a week ago to give Yugi the good news. "She wanted to come tomorrow." He knew he should tell them that she wouldn't come. That she would never come back but he couldn't force himself to say it. The words refused to come out of his mouth, like he somehow could make it less real by keeping it to himself.

"Are you going to pick her up? What time is the plane because we could join you there to greet her. And don't worry we won't stay long I know that you two have lots to talk about." Yugi asked cheerfully while Yami entered the shop from the back giving a nod as a greeting. He would never interrupt Yugi and just gave him a short kiss after he had finished his question.

"The plane arrives at three." Joey mumbled and it was true. The plane would still go on as planed, just that Serenity wouldn't be there any more. It sort of hurt to know that the world would just go one like nothing had happened when everything had changed now that the two most important people in Joey's life were gone.

"What's wrong pal?" Yugi sounded worried. "You look so unhappy. You've been so happy when you first told us that she would come and now you're all gloomy."

"It's just, because of dad and all." Joey said.

"It's normal that you'll still miss him." Yami said, "But don't worry, it'll be easier with time and you still have Serenity to come tomorrow. And you'll always have us."

"Yeah, I guess." Joey replied and thought about it. Would he really always have them? They couldn't really promise it, nobody could promise it. People just die and no one knows when. "I gotta go, I gotta be fit tomorrow." Joey just turned and was about to leave the shop.

"See you tomorrow, okay?" Yugi suddenly said, "And don't worry, things will work out somehow."

"Sure." Joey tried to smile but his lips refused to go upward and so he left without smiling like he used to do. They shouldn't be too worried about it, he wasn't as happy as he used to be since his fathers death. Granted he wasn't as down as he's now, but they probably still wouldn't think too much about it.

He was back in the dark and turned to look inside. Yami, Yugi and his grandfather were still inside looking towards him. He lifted his hand in a greeting once and walked off into the night towards his new apartment. The one he had moved into with his father and all his by now shattered hopes for a better future. He prayed to meet someone from his old block, hoping to find the same end his father had. Getting killed couldn't hurt much more than the pain he felt now.

Once he was home he was sad that he had no such luck but entered his apartment nevertheless. He walked into the kitchen and got out a knife. He knew that it probably wasn't the smartest way to kill himself if he didn't want to give anyone a chance to safe him, but it was the only at hand. Joey didn't even have a belt, since his pants usually fitted quite well without, never mind a rope so hanging himself wasn't going to happen. He didn't have any drugs at hand either and no gun that he could use. At least he lived alone and no one would miss him until his friends would notice him missing at the airport.

He moved the knife along the inside of his wrist and saw the blood flow out. It hurt but it also felt good to know that it would soon be gone and take all the pain he carried inside with it. He moved the knife into the other hand and slid it over the other side, watching the blood flood out of that one too. He watched the blood drop to the white kitchen tiles where the first bit of his blood was starting to pool around his feet. Slowly he felt the strength leaving his body and slid down to the ground. He knocked over some glasses but didn't mind, a few more cuts would only speed up the process. He didn't feel any cuts but then again, he hardly felt the pain in his wrists by now. He sat one the ground and watched the blood flowing slower than before.

"Joey? Are you okay?" He suddenly heard the voice of a girl living next door alone. She wasn't much older than himself and very friendly. She had been shy at first and hardly said a word to him or his father but thanks to Joey's openness they had started to talk a little. Still Joey knew next to nothing about her, apart form her name and the fact that she was friendly and helpful. After his fathers funeral she had invited him for lunch a few times after noticing that he hardly went out to buy himself any food since his father had died. She had also always borrowed the two guys something if they forgot to buy it and needed it. Like some sugar or eggs. "Joey, what was that noise?"

She really did sound worried so Joey took a deep breath and shouted lout enough for her to hear, "I'm fine." Joey was surprised about how his voice sounded. It wasn't horse or weak like he had feared. There was nothing alarming in his voice. He actually had sounded happier than he had in ages.

"Joey?" Why did she sound so alarmed after his voice had been so calm? "What on earth are you doing in there? Open the door right now."

"Just leave me alone." Joey told her with the same calm and unbelievably happy voice. "I'm doing fine."

"Joey," she screamed and for some reason she sounded even more afraid. She must try to get in rattling the door in the process but clearly she wasn't strong enough to break her way in. "Please, open the door."

"Just leave me." Joey once more tried but hardly heard his own voice any more and feared that she would call an ambulance and police to try and help him. Joey wondered if they could be fast enough to keep him alive and looked at the blood on the floor. He didn't feel his wrists or the blood running along his hands and fingers before it dropped to the ground. "I'm begging you, just leave me in peace."

It was quiet for a while, or at least Joey couldn't hear anything and wondered if it was just due to the blood lost. But he didn't need to wonder for long because soon everything turned black and Joey felt like he was floating in the air. Weightless, painless and absolutely happy that the pain was gone.

It felt like only seconds had passed until the pain returned to his mind and his eyes opened to see the hospital room he was in. He sighted, so they had found him, why on earth had this girl not left him alone, he had sounded happy and well, he was sure of it.

"So you finally woke up?" Joey turned to the voice and stared at the blue eyes he saw in a face framed by perfectly smooth brown hair.

"Moneybags?" Joey whispered weakly, "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I'm here to tell you that if you scare my secretary so bad that she isn't coming in to work again, I'm going to kill you." Seto said and after seeing the confused look on the others face he added, "Your neighbour Jasmine, the one who found you."

"How?" Joey mumbled trying to make himself a little more comfortable on the small hospital bed, he felt sore again all over and hated it. "She couldn't have gotten in."

"She called maintenance and then applied pressure to your wounds until the ambulance arrived." Seto informed him. "You're lucky she did, you'd be dead otherwise."

"Yeah." Joey grumbled upset, "Lucky me. But why are you here? Don't tell me you're the kind of guy who screws his secretary that you come just to tell me not to scare her."

"Like anyone could get into her pants, in case you didn't noticed, she doesn't let anyone close, not that I care." Seto smiled one of his smug smiles, "It is practicable for me though, she doesn't get on my nerves like her predecessors. But whatever, I heard about your sister, I'm sorry." Seto watched Joey's face after the sudden change of topic, "Don't look so surprised just because I emphasize a little. Mokuba is all I have, how do you think I would feel if something like that would happen to him? Which is why I'm here."

"I don't get it." Joey admitted, "Even if you might get how I feel about losing my whole family, why should you care?"

"Easy, I like rubbing it into someone's face when I was right about something." Seto replied only to earn himself another confused look from Joey. "Friends mean nothing." Seto added and threw him a little card no bigger than a visa card. It was a picture of two angels on it. They were arm in arm and under them stood, 'Friends are family that we choose.' After that Seto turned for the door and opened it with the words, "Since I called Mokuba I assume Yugi will show up soon, you better find a way to explain to him just why he and the rest of the cheerleaders aren't enough of a reason to keep living."

Joey stared at the closed door open mouthed. _Who on earth was that? _Joey wondered because it sure as hell couldn't be Kaiba. He looked back at the card remembering the worried look on Yugi's face the day before, he probably was worried sick now that Mokuba had probably already told him everything.

It didn't take longer than 10 minutes before the door opened again. "Joey." Yugi cried and hugged his friend. "I was so worried after Mokuba called. How are you feeling now? I'm so sorry about Serenity."

"I'm sorry," Joey mumbled and hugged Yugi gently, "I should have said something, I just couldn't, Mum told me just before I came and I still couldn't believe it. I'm sorry I have you worried."

"It's okay Joey." Yugi told his friend, "I understand that you've been shocked but please don't do something like that again. You know you could stay with us for a while, until you feel a little better."

"Thanks pal." Joey said, "But that isn't necessary, I already feel a bit better. I was reminded of something."

Yugi looked at the card Joey showed him and smiled at his friend, "Then don't forget that again, okay? And you really don't want to stay with us once you get out of here? At least for a little while?"

"I think about it." Joey promised, "But I have to see if I can talk to Jasmine, my neighbour, who found me. I must have scared her out of her wits and want to apologise." _And know why she knew something was up. _Joey wondered. He knew that he'd probably never find out about the weirdest part about this all, why Kaiba had been there and given him this card.

"If you want we stop by there on our way home and tell her that you'd like to see her." Yugi offered.

"What hospital is this?" Joey asked surprised.

"Domino city centre hospital." Yugi answered.

"Then you'd be walking past your place on your way to her." Joey reminded them.

"We know." Yami replied.

"But that won't stop us." Yugi added for him. "We want to help you as much as we can, even tough we know that it isn't much. We can't really replace your family."

"I know." Joey said, "But you're still just as important. I guess I was just in shock that I did something stupid like this."

"At least you say that it's stupid now." Yugi cheered and smiled at his friend. "I was worried that you might still want to die."

"Sorry pal." Joey said and really meant it. "I should never have tried something stupid like this in the first place."

"You don't have to apologize," Yugi told him, "We should have noticed that something was wrong yesterday."

"That's rubbish, how should you notice that?" Joey tried to calm his friend. "And now how about we stop apologising to each other and just forget it happened. Did either of you talk to the doctors and know how long I have to stay here? I really want to go back home and back to work."

"I doubt that the doctors would even tell us." Yugi grumbled. "You'll have to ask them yourself and give us a call once you know okay, but then again, we'll probably annoy the hell out of you by showing up all the time."

Yugi and Yami stayed for a few hours and talked about the rest of their friends and the shop, while Joey held on to the little card like it was a lifeline hoping his friends wouldn't notice. He still felt the pain from losing his family, especially his little sister. Losing a father is hard but losing his sister was so much harder. Joey still wanted to end that pain and knew that dying could end it. He even knew that cutting his wrist was an easy way to die but the card reminded him that he couldn't do it. Yugi would blame himself and that was something Joey didn't want to happen. He had to at least try to pull through.

After they left Joey called for a nurse to see if he could find out how long he had to stay. But she didn't know for sure, she just knew that he had to talk to a psychologist first and Joey rolled his eyes after learning about that. He really didn't want to do that and feared that he would be forced to do a therapy he didn't believe could help him.

It was already late after the talk with the nurse but he still couldn't sleep he wasn't sure if it was due to the fact that he had been unconscious for most of the day or because his head was full with thoughts about how it might go on now. He still wanted to end his life but now he had a reason not to do it anyway. He wasn't sure if he could stop himself if the pain got too bad. Maybe he really should stay with his friends. Sometime in the morning he fell asleep and slept through most of the day.

When he woke up he had a surprise visitor again. Jasmine was sitting there on a chair next to his bed. She was dressed in a skirt and blouse with a blazer like she usually did when she left for work. Joey still couldn't believe that such a nice girl could work with Kaiba and obviously get along with him enough to get Kaiba to be nice to him. "Hey Jas."

"Don't call me that, you know I don't like it." She mumbled with a blush. She always blushed when Joey talked to her and he wondered if she did the same at work.

"Well, I'm too tired to say the whole name." Joey grinned at her hoping to calm her a little.

"Well it seems like you aren't too tired to make fun of me, so please don't call me that." She insisted.

"Fine." Joey mumbled, "By the way, thanks for saving me and sorry for scaring you like that."

She looked surprised and then said, "You mean it, don't you? I mean the thank you, I thought you'd actually be upset that I didn't do as you told me."

"I was," Joey replied, "But someone visited and changed my mind about it."

"I'm glad your friends could help you." She said, "They were at your apartment to see if they could find me and told me you wanted to see me."

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you something," Joey started to say, "I was wondering how you knew, I mean, I said I was fine and I'm sure that I didn't sound like I needed help, so why did you freak out?"

"Because I knew." She simply said.

Joey waited for moment, hoping to get a bit more of an explanation but nothing came, so he asked, "I noticed, but how?"

"I saw you before," She whispered hardly loud enough for Joey to hear, "I saw you walking around like a zombie for days and only slowly getting better. I also saw you leaving the apartment when I got home from work and saw the tears in your eyes and the look on your face. I knew something had happened to make it all worse again. And I saw that you were like a zombie again when you came back. I looked out to see you because I was worried. When I heard the noise I was worried but when I heard how relieved you sounded I knew what you had done because I know what you felt. I know how nice it is to lose the pain, and I know how you feel now that it is back."

Joey stared at her but then asked, "Why do you know?"

"I once drove against a tree." She said and then grinned, "The tree died but the doctors patched me back up. I still have some scars though. After I was fit again I moved here, I needed to get away from it all."

"From what?" Joey asked.

"That isn't important." She replied.

"Maybe it helps to talk about it." Joey suggested.

"Do you want to talk?" She asked.

"No, not really." Joey replied, talking about it meant thinking about it and thinking about it hurt like hell.

"You see, I got away from it and managed to get back on my feet," She said, "You don't need to worry about me, I'm okay now, not great, but okay. And I'm happy that your friends could help you."

"It's not because of them that I feel better, well it sort of is but someone else said something to help me." Joey said, "Your boss. You could have told me that you work for moneybags."

"I wasn't allowed to tell you." She replied, "And I'm sure I only got the job because I happened to live next to you."

"I don't get it. You already worked there when I moved in, didn't you?" Joey asked.

"No, I got the job offer from mister Kaiba, with a much better pay than the one I had before the day you moved in." She explained. "He also asked about you every day."

"He did?" Joey couldn't believe it but she didn't really have a reason to lie. At least he couldn't think of a reason.

"I think he likes you." She told him with a little smile. "But I need to go now or I won't be back on time from my lunch break."

"You really think he likes me?" Joey asked surprised. "He hates me! I mean he always called me names and I was never good enough for anything so what on earth makes you think that he likes me?"

"He was worried about you when I called him to let him know that I assumed you to try and kill yourself." She replied, "He called the maintenance guy who didn't believe me and paid him to open the door."

"That's not exactly what he told me." Joey mumbled.

"I don't think he wants you to know." She told Joey.

"Then way are you telling me?" Joey asked, "He could fire you if you tell me something he doesn't want you to tell me. Like you said, you weren't even allowed to tell me where you worked."

"But he didn't say I couldn't tell you this." She said with a blush. "I guess he thought it obvious but still, I hope he won't fire me. Either way, I wanted you to know, I know that it helps to know that your life means something to others. Or rather, it makes it harder."

"Ain't that the truth." Joey mumbled. He knew what she meant. Having people who care about you makes it harder to hurt yourself, no matter how much Joey wanted the pain to end, he didn't want Yugi to feel it. Joey wasn't sure how long that would be sufficient to stop him from trying to kill himself again but it was enough for now.

"Good luck." She stood up, walking towards the door.

"Thanks." Joey said, "For everything,"

"You're welcome. And I hope to see you home safe and sound soon." She replied before she was out of the room.

Seto didn't show up before Joey was finally allowed to return home. He did go back to his own apartment after all, even though Yugi was clearly worried about what he might try when left alone. Joey wanted to go so he could see Jasmine sometimes, she understood him better than Yugi did with this and even though Joey had no idea what had caused her to feel depressed enough to try and take her own life, nor what had changed her mind and caused her to move instead, he still wanted to help her with that. It gave him a goal and distracted him from his own problems since Seto was right with one thing, she didn't let anyone close to her easily. It was like a miracle that she had told Joey about her own suicide attempt.

There was one other thing though that he had to do. He didn't have it too high on his priority list until Joey had been into his old work place to talk about working again. He hadn't been in since his fathers death and not even called or answered any calls at first and had been sure to lose his position but strangely he hadn't. After the discussion Joey was about to leave when a thought had come to him, so he asked his boss, "Are you sometimes working for Kaiba Corp.?"

"Mister Kaiba is one of our best clients." The boss had said with a blush.

"Did I get this job because of him?" Joey asked.

"Just go, do your work please." The boss said and Joey was sure that he had hit right on target.

"Thanks." Joey mumbled and left but once he was done with his work he drove past Kaiba Corp. and waited. Seto had to show up sooner or later and he really needed to talk to him now.

Joey watched as a limousine drove up to the entrance later that night and was sure that it would be for Kaiba. He got out of his car and walked up to the building. Once he saw Kaiba exit he said, "I need to talk."

Joey saw Seto turn and noticed that he glared at Jasmine who exited the place right after him. He obviously assumed already that she had been a little too chatty for his taste. "I have no time and nothing to say to you anyway, so leave."

"Maybe you have nothing to say, but I do and if you don't have time to talk now, then I join you on your ride and we talk during that." Joey insisted pointing towards the vehicle.

"Fine." Seto mumbled much to Joey's surprise. He was sure that Seto would just send him away, even if he needed the help of his securities to get rid of his unwanted visitor.

Once in the car it was silent at first, Joey had been so sure to be send away that he hadn't really thought about how to talk about the topic at hand. After a while it was Seto who was annoyed. "I thought you wanted to discuss something, so either you get started or you quit wasting my time."

"How on earth am I wasting your time? You're on the road, it's not like you could do all that much." Joey pointed out.

"There is a reason that I have a driver to take me everywhere I need to go. I usually work on my laptop during the ride." Seto pointed out. "So either start talking or forget about it."

"I want to know why you showed up in the hospital?" Joey said, he thought it safer to start with something easy, something Seto knew that Joey knew about.

"I told you that already and I don't like repeating myself." Seto simply said.

"But I don't think that you told me the truth." Joey insisted.

"Either you believe it or you don't but it's the only answer you'll get. Was that all?" Seto asked.

"No." Joey replied, "Why did you help me to get my job?"

Seto looked at him for a second before he looked ahead towards the head of the driver again. "What gave you the ridiculous impression that I had anything to do with that?"

"Call it a hunch." Joey watched his face hoping to find a crack in his mask.

"You're a lawyer, aren't you?" Seto still looked ahead. "Because as such you should know that you should have proof before making accusations."

"I'm not accusing you of something I simply want to have a few explanations." Joey replied.

"I realise that but you want circumstances explained that aren't even proven to be fact, so how do you expect me to explain a fact that only exists in your imagination?" Seto asked with a glare.

"It isn't my imagination." Joey insisted, "And now answer me. I know that I'm correct and I'm certain that given time I will have proof for a lot of things, so how about you quit wasting my time and just answer my questions?"

It was quiet for so long that Joey feared Seto simply wouldn't answer at all but after a while he said, "You really are sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"I know what I know." Joey watched him and was glad to see that Seto looked him into the eyes for the first time. He obviously wanted to see how sure Joey really was and he was sure about those two, he just didn't know for sure if Seto had a hand in his full ride for college. It had been a real surprise that he had gotten it and Joey somehow assumed now that Seto had been the one paying for it. It definitely made more sense than him getting it otherwise, since he just about passed high school.

What ever Seto saw in Joey's eyes must have proven to him how certain Joey was and so he answered, "I had my reasons and believe me, it wasn't for your benefit."

"Wow, that sounds believable," Joey rolled his eyes, "What other reasons can there be?"

"Why bother trying to understand something that you'll never really get anyway?" Seto asked.

Joey wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face but instead he replied equally smug, "Maybe you're just scared of telling me the truth that I already figured out."

"So you think you already understand my reasons?" Seto asked and by now the limousine was stopping right in front of the entrance to the Kaiba estate. "Then please amuse me with your assumptions."

"I doubt you'll find them amusing." Joey grinned while getting out of the limousine and then started to walk back towards the gate adding, "But if you're too scared to tell me what you feel, I guess I'll stay single."

Joey hadn't managed to make one step after saying that before he felt Seto hold on to his arm. "What do you mean?"

"Why bother trying to understand something that you'll never get anyway?" Joey grinned, using the words Seto had used earlier.

Seto glared at him but then pressed Joey's back to the limousine and held on to both of his wrists, "Fine you win, I questioned a few places to see if you applied there and once I heard of that one I said they would get to handle all my law cases as long as you work for them and wouldn't find out about the deal. And yes, I did it to help you. I seem to have a weak spot for stupid mutts, happy now?" He still glared at Joey and moved a little closer himself adding, "And now explain to me what you meant."

"You still haven't explained much, you simply confirmed what I knew." Joey wasn't about to be satisfied with anything less than a proper confession of his reasons and by now he was sure that it would have to include a love confession. "I want to know why? And I mean the full truth and not just that you have a week spot for stray mutts because I'm no mutt."

Seto glared at him even more but instead of answering he suddenly kissed him so fast and hard that Joey needed a moment before he could react. Once his brain had finally managed to accept the truth that Seto Kaiba was currently kissing him he moved his arms around the cold CEO and started to fight for dominance a little. The kiss got more and more heated and soon Seto pulled the blond man in his arms, inside of the mansion and towards his bed room. Once there Joey stopped the kiss for a moment, "You still haven't explained anything."

"Do I still have to?" Seto asked.

"Please Kaiba," Joey mumbled but cuddled closer. He had been trough too much to allow Kaiba to just play with his feelings. And even though it didn't seem that way he wanted to hear him say that.

"Call me Seto." Seto whispered and pulled Joey closer again with the words, "And what exactly do you want me to say?"

"I want to hear how you feel about me." Joey mumbled.

"I love you." Seto answered without hesitation, "Happy now?" Joey watched his face for a moment and then nodded. "Shouldn't you say something now?" Seto asked.

"I love you too." Joey mumbled, "Oh and what else did you do for me? I mean, I always knew that something was fishy with my full ride for college."

"Don't worry about that." Seto said, "Just take it as it is." And with that Seto kissed the blond in his arms again. After a while his thumbs started to go over the still fresh scares on Joey's wrist and Seto mumbled, "Don't do that again." Joey gave a sigh and looked a little sad but he gave a nod. "Promise me." Seto whispered seductively.

Joey looked into his eyes and mumbled, "I promise not to do it any time soon. I can't promise more right now."

"I don't like that answer." Seto replied.

"I know." Joey said and fought the tears that always threatened to come when he thought about his sister now. "But it still hurts. And I don't know if I can learn to live with this, but I promise to try. And I promise to not try and kill myself any time soon. That has to be enough for now."

"If I can do anything for you," Seto said and pulled him closer, "just tell me."

Once more Joey gave a nod. The pain was too much right now and it was too hard to say anything. But Seto's lips that were reconnected with his owns moments after did help to distract him. Maybe with Seto by his side and his friends behind him, he really could start living again and for the first time since waking up in the hospital, he was happy that he had been saved.

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**Authors Note**: I hope you all liked the story and to everyone who ever considered suicide himself, I hope you noticed that Joey's life did take a turn for the better and that this story will give you some hope that it might be the same for you too.


End file.
